Embracing Anger

So I was given some homework in counseling and it was to explore the emotion anger in my life.    I really don't get angry I mean what is the point?  Seems kind of like a waste of energy.   I probably get mad but never escalates to the point of anger I would say.   My dad and brother used to get ANGRY and had tempers.   I never really wanted to be that person.   Being almost out of control.   I always wanted to be in control of my emotions.   In my first marriage I suppose I got mad a few times and tried to talk about it but the penality was also the silent treatment from my first husband.   The was really no purpose to express anger because there 

was no resolution of the issue.  It was the appropriate time frame of punishment for me carried out with the silence treatment and then everything was fine like nothing happened.   So I suppose I just buried it deep inside and never let myself express anger and then pretty soon just didn't feel anger.    Today I feel angry.   I have been thru HELL in the last few years. Divorce, single mom, then married with 3 step sons all living in the same house.  I have never wanted to blame my current husband for the mess he brought into my house.   But after this weekend I know I need to embrace my anger, admit to it, and let it resolve.   He didn't now the depth of the craziness he brought into the house but it still happened and there was no control.   I found out about some other things that had happened in our house with the boys.   I am beyond angry at a lot of people.   I am mad about how I found out.  How it was handled or not handled.   What exactly happened or didn't happen or will those involved actually confess to it.   The trust is gone and disgust left in its place.   I know my husband did not know about any of this either and was just as caught off guard but I need to hold him responsible for the part he played in bring this in my life.  I can no longer give him a pass.   I will never be able to completely respect him and ensure our relationship moves forward in health.   I can't keep this bottled up or someday it will manifest in a way over reaction.   Today at work I said I wanted to go running thru woods screaming.   I felt like running would kill the emotion and screaming just sounded fun and therapeutic.   I don't know what to do with the recent information I hae been provided with as far as dealing with it.   I am confused my brain is on overload and I am seeing red.   Tonight I plan on talking with my husband sharing my feelings the anger and talk thru this.   I pray that he is receptive and not defensive and healing at our house can continue.    I guess I have been angry, I don't need to be afraid of this and that I have to deal with it.   Well I am off to go screaming and running thru the woods.   Just kidding too cold here and the health club bans screaming on the treadmills.